Every year on 8th March, Viet Nam’s streets bloom with vibrant bouquets as men present flowers to their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and female colleagues. It’s a beautiful tradition that underscores deep respect and affection.
Perhaps you remember each 8th March when your mother would receive a bouquet of flowers, accompanied by a kiss and an "I love you" from your father. But maybe you also recall those nights when your father came home late after drinking with colleagues, raising his voice if dinner wasn’t ready. Your older sister quietly looked away or tried to comfort your mother. It might have seemed normal, a private family matter, but situations like this can leave a lasting mark.
I recently met Bao, a devoted brother who would lovingly present his sister with flowers each International Women’s Day, believing this simple act demonstrated his gratitude and respect for a woman who worked tirelessly, who cared for her 3-year-old daughter, and from outside had the perfect husband who also gave her flowers. But Bao had no idea that, just three days later, he’d again be buying flowers for his sister, this time for her funeral. She died as a result of domestic violence, even as the bouquet her husband had given her on International Women’s Day still sat fresh on the dining table.
According to a 2023 UNODC report 18,000 women were killed in Asia by intimate partners or family members in just one year; and the 2019 National Study on Violence against Women in Viet Nam reported that 63% of women aged 15 to 64 have faced some form of violence whether physical, sexual, emotional or economic by their husbands or intimate partners. This might include your sister, daughter or colleague. Alarmingly, more than 90% never seek help, even if they receive flowers each year from the very person who abuses them. In many homes around the world including in Vietnamese households, perhaps even in your own family, women endure verbal, emotional or physical abuse behind closed doors. No bouquet of roses can ease the pain of living in fear.
This International Women’s Day, as we exchange bouquets adorned in bright wrapping, let’s take a moment to reflect. Is honouring women just once a year enough while we remain silent when we hear our neighbour being yelled at? Are we doing our part as sons, husbands, brothers, friends and neighbours to protect the women in our lives? How would Bao’s family feel now if their neighbours had supported his sister?
The truth is clear: flowers alone won’t fix domestic violence. What will? A society in which everyone, especially men, recognises that violence is not a private matter but everyone’s concern, and where effective policies and supportive services protect survivors. True progress requires active participation from all of us to end the stigma and shame surrounding gender-based violence. It demands collective action from leaders, policymakers and communities, especially men, who can champion changes in their own homes and circles.
At UNFPA, the United Nations sexual and reproductive health agency, in Viet Nam, we partner with the government, local stakeholders and everyday citizens to ensure that women are not only celebrated but also genuinely safe and empowered. If you or someone you know needs help the national helpline 18001768 is available.
Recognising the critical role of men in breaking the cycle of violence, UNFPA has partnered with the Viet Nam Farmers’ Union to launch the "Responsible Fatherhood" initiative helping men to understand their role in building violence-free families. UNFPA is also supporting One-Stop Service Centres, known as Anh Duong houses, that provide survivors of domestic violence with healthcare, psychosocial support, emergency shelter, legal aid and police protection. Hundreds of women have already found safety and support through these centres which continue to expand nationwide.
Ending violence against women and girls isn’t solely a ‘women’s issue’; it’s a societal responsibility.
So this 8th March by all means give flowers, but also give something more. Have candid conversations with your mother about mutual respect. Offer reassurance to your sister that she deserves safety and dignity. Teach your daughter that love and kindness must never coexist with fear. Break the silence around domestic violence, because women in Viet Nam, and everywhere, deserve more than just a single day of recognition.
Remember: this could be happening to someone you love, even without your knowledge. We must do more than hand out flowers. We must ensure that every woman lives free from violence, every single day. After all, it’s far better to honour them in life than to bring flowers to their graves.
